April 20, 2020
I think I am finally over Colin. I found myself thinking about him tonight and could feel myself sinking into a downward spiral of depression thinking about, "what could have been" and "what it was"
I kept asking myself, "why I keep thinking about him?"
I was searching for answers on YouTube and found it.
It was because he was the person that hurt me the most. I kept rewinding all the moments we had because I couldn't understand why things played out this way.
Today I realized that 'why' doesn't matter.
Sometime things happen for no reason and I think this was a learning lesson from god.
I think God wanted to teach me how to confront my emotions because if I don't there will be people like Colin who will take advantage of my weakness - confrontation.
I needed to break in order to be revived to the person I needed to be.
I am grateful.